Kasual Konversations
by Michael Luvar Barnes
Summary: King Koopa has a very personal conversation with Princess Peach


Kasual Konversations

Finished: 11/25/03

Edited: 3/24/2004

By Michael Luvar Barnes

Plot: Bowser and Princess Peach have a casual conversation. While repeating the same old kidnapping song and dance they have been for years. But you have to wonder, what kind of personal life does she have with Mario?

**_P_**rincess Peach sighed heavily then smiled as she realized Mario would save her eventually. He always did save her. But today something was amiss, something about the air was charged.

     King Koopa stomped down the musty dungeon corridor furious. Mario had outwitted his most daring plan. And his Koopa spawn had barely managed to distract the fat bastard in time for him to escape.

     "Princess Peach!"

     Peach looked up at the small window to her metal cell and cringed. "What do you want Koopa?"

     "Your boyfriend on a spit roasting on an open flame, preferably _I_ will be doing the roasting! I am tired of this; I try, and try to kill him. But he has this irritating ability to want to live!"

     Peach started giggling and Koopa stopped ranting. "You're silly you know that? If you wanted Mario dead you would have used a plan that actually worked."

      "Are you implying that my plans are made to fail?"

      "He is your rival, what gives you reason to live. Ever wonder why your marriage failed?"

      Koopa chuckled. "Yea, she died."

      "Oh I am sorry." Peach said sincerely.

      "Don't be I killed her…" Koopa narrowed his eyes as he gazed at his captive. "Why him?"

      "What?" Peach asked confused until she looked deeper into Koopa's eyes. "Oh…because he is kind, though what he does to his brother is sort of mean."

      "Sort of mean? If I was EVER second string to one of my nestlings I would roast them!" Koopa opened his fanged mouth and let a flare of bright orange and red flame through the bars of the door's small window.

      Peach started sweating as the room started getting hot and she inched closer into a corner. "You like your fire breathing don't you? But you're just a big bully."

      "If I was, I would have killed you years ago. Maybe your right, this little dance is only because I want it to continue. Though, Mario is not stupid is he?"

      "He is a licensed doctor…." Peach offered. "Got college done on the side while working against the evils you committed."

      "No shit." Bowser snorted. Suddenly he got an idea. "Peach, how about I tie you to a nuclear device then launch it at the Mushroom Kingdom?"

      "Mario just brought a stealth fighter…he would have Luigi pilot it and rescue me." Peach smiled. "Good idea though, he would have to defuse it and save me."

      "I was kidding; god woman the only excitement in your life is a fat man saving your life."

      "It is gratifying." Peach blushed.

      Bowser suddenly looked sick. "Oh…my…God," Bowser backed away from the cell door and stepped on the foot of one of his guards. He ignored the Koopa Troopa's cry of pain and swallowed hard. "You're a fetishist! Worse! You use me in your twisted sex games with that plump turkey!" 

      "Oh don't knock it till you try it Bowser hon." Peach winked.

      "Does that work? I mean don't you…you know?" 

      Peach shook her head. "He says it endangers his life too much. He says that the less sex he has, the more energy he has to fight you. So, him and me got to talking after the third kidnapping or so and did some research. Self-hypnotic suggestions enable me to orgasm on demand, or, at the thought of being kidnapped by you."

      "Disgusting!" Bowser turned away then looked back. "It was nice to have this conversation. But you know we set up this elaborate trap outside that needs one princess."

      "Why not Daisy?"

      "Your cousin's a slut. No offense but I think what you do is ten times better than what she does…or rather whom she does." Bowser chuckled.

      "Oh you're right; she would just seduce one of your guards and get away. Oh well, I am ready, got the silk ropes?"

      "Oh heavens no!" Bowser opened the cell door and held up a loop of rope. "They burn too easily, we got fire retardant. The trap involves flames and missiles, standard stuff. Oh and the cannonballs cannot leave the classic stuff out."

      "It would not be fun otherwise." Peach smiled as she approached the cell doorway. She looked forward to her hero and the massive orgasm that would follow upon his liberation of her.

**_Author's Notes_**: I wrote this last year, I had heard about that new Mario and Luigi RPG for the GBA and thought to myself. Hey, what about Peach's and Mario's personal life outside of the games?

     The above is my twisted humorous spin on whatever personal life they have. And as Fan Fiction goes it is short, takes them totally out of character, but usually parody does that.

     I had no intention of releasing this, I wrote it, and let it sit. Well, considering there are worse things written. I figured, why not publish this on FF.net and get some reader reaction.

     Though I know many are waiting for a sequel to another story of mine, Ciel's Love. They have to wait until I finish it and that is that.


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